The Resistance of Rest

Hello friends,

Sometimes as you’re skimming through social media you’ll come across the phrase "rest is resistance". It's resonated with a lot of Black people, especially women. And it's resonating with me more than ever.

Of course, I wanted to know where this had come from. I think Audre Lorde laid the groundwork with her famous quote: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” But more recently, Tricia Hersey, founder of the Nap Ministry, has made it a rallying cry.

What Does "Rest is Resistance" Even Mean?

But what does "rest is resistance" even mean? For me, it's about countering the way girls, women and people assigned female at birth (AFAB) were raised: to pour into others while depriving ourselves. IYKYK

No matter how messed up it is, it’s part of the societal programming we receive. That goes double if you’re a Black woman, where somehow it’s OK for you to work yourself to the bone in the service of others - no matter what the heritage of those others. 

In post-enslavement and post-colonial societies in particular, the idea of Black and Global Majority people in service roles is so pernicious that you have only to be standing by a shelf in a shop or supermarket as a Black woman for a white person to come up to you and assume you’re part of the help. This has happened to me personally many times, and I know I’m not the only one. 

Layering Up the Programming

Get to a certain age and stage, when the societal programming has taken hold, and you believe it yourself, and begin to feel guilty every time you put yourself first or fail to comply with others’ expectations. And if there’s trauma in your past, resulting in people pleasing, a heightened sense of responsibility, or hypersensitivity to other people’s needs, wants and emotions, that adds another layer, too. 

All of this is capitalist, patriarchal, white supremacist BS that we need to unlearn. Because it’s the same construct that keeps men and boys from acknowledging and working through their feelings - don’t you think there’d be a lot less harm to a lot of people if they learned - and we all learned - to handle this in a healthy way?

Why Stepping Back is Revolutionary - and Necessary

So yes, making the decision to step back, breathe, pause and then to step away and rest IS an act of resistance to centuries of programming that says that your personal needs are less important, that it’s not OK for you to rest, that you don’t deserve softness. Deciding to take time for yourself, and saying no to what doesn't serve you is also revolutionary. And doing this consistently is super-revolutionary.

And it’s a form of resistance we need more of.

Take Action Today

Advocates, what are you doing to support the Black people, and especially the Black women in your network so they can experience the resistance of rest? Where can you find opportunities to reduce their load, on any level?

Black women, if you're looking to rest, check out The Great Exhale, Rooted Respite by Taj M. Smith and Nikki St. Paul's programmes. You're welcome. :)

Thanks for reading,

Sharon

Note: poll feedback is private - if you’re happy to share your thoughts in public, then please also leave a comment.

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I am an anti-racism educator and activist, the author of “I’m Tired of Racism”, and co-host of The Introvert Sisters podcast.

© Sharon Hurley Hall, 2024. All Rights Reserved. This newsletter is published on beehiiv (affiliate link).