I Talked About Racism With a Stranger

Hello friends,

Talking to strangers on planes is filed under "least likely things for Sharon to do". and yet I did it.

Not only did I talk to a stranger, but we had a wide-ranging conversation about racism and anti-racism. And I lived to tell the tale, which wasn't a foregone conclusion because I could have ended up sitting next to someone in a huffy silence for the 8-hour flight. Here's what happened.

We were flying to the UK towards the end of 2024. As we sometimes do, my husband and I, who are both 5ft10ish, chose to sit one in front of the other so we could both have an aisle seat and stretch at least one of our legs at will. (Economy is hard for tall people.)

The person sitting next to me realised we were together and offered to swap seats, and we explained why we didn’t want to. They were pretty friendly, and we got to talking.

Open and Curious - A Great Start

They shared their love affair with Barbados, that they'd saved up and purchased a house which they were fixing up, and how they saw the people and culture. I knew right away that they didn't have the expat colonialist attitude I've seen so often. Instead, they were open and curious and revelled in the chance to get insights from and trade stories with someone who knew the island well and could also understand where they were coming from as a Brit.

Leading With Anti-Racism Activism

Eventually the conversation turned to what we do and, as I've been doing recently, I described myself as an anti-racism activist and writer and told them about the newsletter. They were surprised that someone with a toe in Barbados would do such a thing but I explained that: a) most of my readers were in North America and the UK and b) they'd be surprised how much of the horrible heritage of colonialism and enslavement remained to be unpacked and was still present in countries like Barbados. I've talked to friends from different African and Asian countries who say the same.

Colour and “Race”

One of the first things we discussed was "not seeing colour" as this person had been raised to think that was the "right" approach to dealing with diversity. I disabused them of that notion, making the point that in order to see me as a whole person, my racialised identity as a Black woman (though "race" is a fiction, racism isn't) had to be a part of that. They saw my point.

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Dealing With Problematic History

Then we talked about statues that reminded folx of harmful and traumatic periods in history. They thought taking them down robbed people of the chance to learn and that they should be left up with a plaque. I thought something that was causing trauma should be removed. We finally met in the middle, agreeing that putting the statues in museums with context about the history and why they were problematic might be a good middle ground. (Though I've wavered between this view and tear them all down many times myself.)

The Legacy of Colonialism

And then we discussed colonialism from the viewpoint of the formerly colonised, the lack of education on this in the UK, and what the legacy of this was today.

It was a great conversation, and since they visit Barbados regularly, we exchanged contact details so we could keep in touch and meet up for another conversation the next time we're in Barbados at the same time.

I've always taken the view that there's a ripple effect with anti-racism, so 1 to 1 conversations matter as much as addressing people at scale through events and newsletters and the like. I KNOW that I was able to offer an alternative perspective on some issues my fellow passenger had previously not questioned and I hope they told their family and friends about the conversation and what they learned.

Your Next Action

The lesson and action point: we can all look for and seize the opportunity to have these conversations and shift a single person's thinking. I challenge you to do this in your circles - and feel free to come back and let me know how it went.

P.S. If you want support on your anti-racism journey, the SHHARE membership community is currently accepting new members. It's community-led and reparations and action focused. Check out the details and reply to this email if you have questions about it.

Thanks for reading,

Sharon

Note: poll feedback is private - if you’re happy to share your thoughts in public, then please also leave a comment.

I am an anti-racism educator and activist, the author of “I’m Tired of Racism”, and co-host of The Introvert Sisters podcast.

© Sharon Hurley Hall, 2025. All Rights Reserved. This newsletter is published on beehiiv (affiliate link).